Knowing when to stop

Hawthorn friends

Hail and welcome!

This picture was taken last weekend (28th October) in drizzly cold rain on Exmoor.  I had to stop the car, because so much beauty was flashing past me and I was going crazy to immerse myself in the place.  The old moorland, full of wyrd and wonder.  

So why did I rush through the weekend? Why was I trying to pack experiences in, see the red deer, see the ancient Oak forest, be out in the full moon on the moor...the list goes on.  I missed the point.  Oh don't get me wrong it was lovely to be there, but I was not really present with being there, because I was too busy moving.

When we set ourselves a quest, we get naturally excited, apprehensive, perhaps even unsure of ourselves.  But if we become attached to the outcome of the quest (i.e to see red deer on Exmoor as this is the rutting season and wouldn't it be good and wonderful etc!) then we are robbed of the true awareness of the quest.  This is the letting go.  

Big sigh.  I so wanted to see the deer, the stags in particular.  I have recently become aware of Elen of the Ways, the green woman of the wild woods and trackways.  I knew 'her' for years but did not know her name.  So I get very excited, especially now I have started a Celtic shamanic apprenticeship.  But in this excitement, I have forgotten my open, unattached self.  The one who goes out casually for a walk and then sees a deer as if by magic right in front of where I walk.  Because I am not looking for it.

I have been totally wiped out this week, sad also.  Samhain brings up so much emotional debris.  What a potent, rich, fertile, volatile time.  Especially this year, with such a pounding full moon.

I am restless, I want to be out there, visible - sharing my wyrd ways, my knowledge and skills and that is the purpose of this blog.  So watch out!  

Walk with me on this journey friends, we will sit 'around the fire' and share good stories I hope.